took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
