And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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