There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
