did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
