He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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