just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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