She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
