why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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