my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize