He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
