so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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