yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
