so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
