He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Never joke about your clitoris.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
