it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I AM VODKA MAN
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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