Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
A+ Viking dick
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
