five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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