I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
