I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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