well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
