My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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