just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
