but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
