I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
