Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
