I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
