Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
