i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
