i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I enjoy the company of your penis
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
