with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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