Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
