dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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