Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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