i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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