yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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