Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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