Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
