Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
