This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
