i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
