So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
