I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
