y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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