Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
