You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
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