White coat. Heels.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
