READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
