and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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