you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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