Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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