it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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